Knowing

Okay, I told myself, no don't. But I just can't help it.

I have this thing about me that people find it hard to understand.

What is it that makes me HAPPY.

What is it that makes my LIFE EASIER TO LIVE.

Now I do have people that can make it happen.

People that makes me happy, and CRAZY all the time.

Who just love making fun of me and all,

but the fact that I never cared shows that it makes me CONTENT.

Makes me feel like I BELONG.

Somehow, I feel that this is it.

They are the ones I really cared about.

They are the ones that I want to be around with.

And it all happened in such a short time.

is there such a thing?

I don't want people to understand me.

'Cause sometimes I don't even understand myself.

I just want them to know me.

Know that when I smile, I am SINCERE.

When I laugh, I am SAD.

When I'm sad, they will make me HAPPY.

That's all.

Words

It's a crazy life out there. We talk crap about who we are and who we could be, and between how it is and how it should be. Why didn't we make it different in the first place?

Self Mirror Portrait

I was bored, so let it go~

War

"If we don’t end war, war will end us."

- Herbert George Wells

(Source)

Words and Pics 2

Words and Pics

Wondering

Salam all.

I'm in the office right now feeling bored. I know you guys must be asking yourself how is she able to write this entry while working? Well, this office is amazing 'cause they have WiFi and it's really fast! Owh, not really answering yea? Ok, ok, I only have to take care of the form distribution (xpayah la aku bgtau form ape krg bukan tau pon an). So, the rest drg yg buat. Except klu ade bnde2 kecik drg soh la aku wat.

So, when I'm not doing anything, I surf la! Aku bole on9 sesuka hati aku jer. Hehehe.

Anyhoo, I actually have no story to tell, just want to tell you guys ape yg aku wat pg2 kat tmpat kjer. That's all.

Time tgh tggu akak cleaner bersihkan opis, aku g lah jln2 kat kolan renang sebelah tuh...
Teringat time BFFs aku Atie and Ima dtg umah aku sem lpas, ktrg mandi kat kolam ni sesamer..rindu korang!!




Malas nak tunjuk muka dlm gmbar, tunjuk kaki dah la...haha...

Atie, Ima, nnt dtg umah aku lagi, jom mandi kolam same2 again!

Words

I FEEL LONELY RIGHT NOW. I'M MISSING SOMEONE. SOMEONE WHO ALWAYS KNOW WHAT TO SAY WHEN I'M UPSET. SOMEONE WHO'S NOT HERE.

Meant to B!

Salam all.

Hey, aku dlm mode : HAPPY skrg, know why? Sbb ari ni aku and mummy borong bnyk bende yg ktrg mmg xsepatutnye beli...lol.

Anyhoo, mmg giler la citer utk kali nih. Aku cite dr mule lah. Ktrg decide nk pg cari tudung and shawls td, so mummy nak pg Masjid Jamek. Ktrg pon gerak lah dlm pukul 10 lebih cmtu. Mummy kt susah nk parking keter kat sne so die kt nak naik LRT jer. Ok lah, ktrg nk pg station kat Setiawangsa. Dah nk smpai tu, ade jln tutup plak, so da ke tmpat lain la ktrg. Mghala ke Carrefour Setiawangsa la plak. Pastu mummy kt kt pg Carrefour dulu lah. Ok set.

Smpai kat entrance parking, mak ai, keter berderet smpai luar nk masuk dlm. Perh, mmg xla kan ktrg nk tggu. Aku pon bg cadangan plak kt pg Wangsa Walk lah Mama. Mummy pon terpaksa la. So, pg la kami kesana.haha.

Smpai2 je, ktrg g cari tudung la kan. Aku nmpak shawl cntik, tp kain die jenis yg panas, so xjd la nk beli. Xbnyk sgt plak shawl kat sne. Sedeh..hehe

Da jln2 tuh...sedar2 ktrg naik tgkat atas, pastu smpai ke tmpat electronik plak. Pe kjadah nye ktrg nk cari tudung kat stu an. Ktrg pon masuk kedai phone nih. Gile aktrg tgk, bnyk btol brg. So, mummy pg mncari wire utk Galaxy Tab dier...aku plak heheh, cari casing utk phone akuh. Dpt satu, tp harge cam ape ntah. ;(

Tp aku beli gak. hehe, nnt iya bayar blek ye mummy pas gaji ;P

Pastu, ok lah, gerak lg, tgk phone plak. Mummy nih da melekat dgn Galaxy S II plak. Amboi mummy nih, mntang2 lah org klu ade iPhone ade iPad, so mummy klu ade Galaxy Tab, kne ade Galaxy S II gak? haha. Aku kt mummy xperlu lah. Cukup la tuh. Tp mummy nk jgak but of course herga pon gile. Xjd la nk beli.hehe. Ttibe nmpak hphone idaman aku skang SE Xperia Play, pergh...gile cntik! Tp xyah la, hphone skang aku pon ok lg (pon hphone idaman gak ni dulu).

So, ktrg gerak lagi kedai lain. Kdai hphone gak. Nmpak la mcm2 jenis phone. Cantik2 plak tuh. Aishy. Pastu mummy cam nk gak beli smtg, so die nk tgk Galaxy Mini. Cantik and murah tp kurang best la sket, sbb mini je.hehe.

Xjd ngan Galaxy Mini, mummy switch plak kat Samsung Ace! Walaweh. Hati die da melekat plak. Mmg btol2 melekat. So mummy made up her mind, beli! Oh, mummy ni. Dpt la satu Samsung Ace. Dah la rupe die skali tgk mcm iPhone 4. Dem! haha..

Sister and brother Chinese tu pon cam best gile, (found out later that they are engaged to each other, so cweet!). Die bg byk brg free! Time kasih dik (ye, rupe2nye chinese girl tu bru 20 tahun.mude lagi da nk kawen!).

Time tggu die set up phone tuh, ktrg g jln2 jap. Pg kdai sebelah. Kedai brg2 elektronik. Mcm2 gak ade ctu. Sakit hati! haha. Mama g cari brg die pastu nmpak lak bag lappy cntik. Beli lah die. Aku plak, whatever makes you happy mummy. ;)

Dah nk byar, mummy tnye aku, Iya xnak ape2 ke?, yg aku plak beli ape? ttibe mummy suggest hard disk kat akuh. Oh, ye...hehe. Aku pon pilih lah satu. Dpt lah aku sebijik Hard Disk! Trime kasih mummy!!

So, ktrg pg blek kdai phone, amek phone, and then gerak ke kdai sebelah sne plak. Kedai MUSIC! Oh, gile, xthn tgk bnyk instruments! Ktrg pi tgk Keyboard (bkn komputer term ek). Cantik siot. Mummy bg plak cadangan, beli nak? Aku hanya bisa ternganga sahaja. Mummy, oh knape hari ni?hehe.. Ye, mummy beli gak Keyboard tuh! Padahal xreti pon nak main. Abg yg tlg ktrg tu pon xreti, die kt sy main gitar je kak, piano ni sy main tekan2 jer, mummy jawab, kalu itu aku pon main tekan2 jer..smbil gelak. Aku pon gelak skali. Comel gile abg tuh! (aku tau, bulan pose..hehe). Tp mummy pon agreed abg tu comel.haha

Tgk instrument lain plak, abg tu dok explain ape bnde, ktrg angguk jer.haha. Padahal xtau hape pn. Ttibe abg tu tnye aku, ni akak ngan adik ke?, aku mcm da agak da soklan tu msti klua pnyer. Mummy gelak. Aku wat muke trus...hahaha aku ckp ni mak saye la.... abg tuh dgn muke serius jawab yeke? mcm adik ngan akak jer. Aku dlm hati kuang asam tol abg nih..
Salah sape sume ini? hahaha..

So, pas bayar, ktrg nk pg jln lagi so tggl kan keyboard tu dulu kat kdai tuh. Jln2...xde ape da ktrg beli..hehe. Ktrgpi aleh keter lak bg dekat sket abg tu nk antar. Mummy sent aku pg pggil abg tuh. Aku pg lah. Smpai se abg tu kt die ade kje sat. So die mntak tggu kjap. Aku pon tggu la. Aku call mummy, gtau yg abg tu bz. Tup2 mummy kt keyboard tu da smpai keter da. Walaweh, uang asam abg ni, antar xckp kat aku pon! Malu aku kat ctu. Ape g blah lah.haha.

Itu jer, mmg sume yg ktrg beli hari ni lari dr ape yg ktrg nak beli in the first place. Owh, ye x ye, aku ttibe terserempak ngan x-school mate, lelaki. Aku xberani nk tegur..segan weh. Die dgn kawan2 die. Nmpak2 je trus aku tgk tmpt len. Xtau la kot die nmpak aku ke kan. Ntah2 xigt pon..haha...

Kesimpulannyer, sume yg blaku hari ni was meant to be larh!
Dah la, pjg2 lak entry nih..buhbye.




Sprti bese lah, hari aku klu xde gmba mmg xsah. Gmbar ni aku snap gune phone bru mummy. Best! 1st picture dlm phne mummy gmbar aku!!! Hahahaha...loike!

Me Against The World!

Just like everybody else in this electronic journal, I am here to voice out things I have in mind. By things I meant all sorts of things that I can think of. Be it crazy, insane, unbelievable, unthinkable, intelligent, not so intelligent, things. One thing about me is, I love to talk about everything.
You see, I don’t have to think about anything else other than myself. What is the point of burdening my brain that’s already full of its own thoughts. But along the way, I realized that we can’t avoid thinking about others and the world. We are living in it after all. And we do need each other. We are a social being. Without others we’ll basically…well, go crazy. That’s in fact, is a fact.
Yeah, another thing about me is I love to babble. Unimportant things are my interest. Maybe cause sometimes I think that the least important stuff are the most important ones.
So, why am I here? I’m here because I have something to say.
I want to sing it for the world!



Teehee!

My Bro!

Salam all.

Today I want to show you my Bro.
My one and only big Bro who's very dear to me.
We're only a year a part. He's now 23. I'm 22 of course.
So, growing up with that close age, we were very tight and close to each other.
Even until now.

We've been through lots of ups and downs together that some of it, no one even know.
I look up to him very much and I pray he will have a happy life.
A life that he never get to have before.

There he is. When we were kids, people thought that we were twins because we look alike and 'cause we are only a year apart.

See? Yang xle blah, style rambut pon lebeh kurang..lol..



I like this picture very muchie! Comel xktrg? Perah-san, aku tau..

Ni lah aku dan abg aku (eyh, ttibe ade nana nih. Sorry gmba aku and abg aku ade lam lappy lame lah...ini je ade.lol)

Arite. Ini aje. Daa...

Kings and Queens

Salam all.

Time for another episode of total crapness (don't use this word wherever you are, it's only reserved for those who doesn't care). So, let's go.

What if we were Kings and Queens? All of us?
What if we were someone BIG?
What if we were all the same?

What if we all want the same thing?
What if we don't care about power?
What if we just live and die?
What if we don't mind saying Hello and Goodbye?
What if we were all crazy?
What if we just be HUMAN?

Believe it or not, being human is the hardest thing to do.
You, me, do we believe that we are actually human?
How do we know we are?

I never understood how to be a human.
They say by making mistakes.
But making to many mistakes is making me feel less and less human.
Why is that?

Quote

“We need others. We need others to love and we need to be loved by them. There is no doubt that without it, we too, like the infant left alone, would cease to grow, cease to develop, choose madness and even death.”

-Leo F. Buscaglia

Uncivilized

Salam all.

I got plenty of times in my hands. The worse part about having too much time is that, you just want to do everything! But in the end, nothing ever gets done, you know what mean.

Aside from taking lots and lots of pictures, I am now in a middle of writing a fictional story. Yes, like I said, too much time in my hands.

I already have 1 short story done but no one has read it yet. I don't know, I guess I'm not ready to let anybody read them. Full stop.

So what's the deal with the world today? Let's see, I've actually lost track of what's happening around me. I know. I haven't watched the news for quiet a while now. So, I heard about this riot that's been occurring in London and the heartbreaking story about one of our own, Asyraf. You guys heard what happened? He was beat up and then mugged. I saw what happened. No, I wasn't there but I watched the video.heh.

The video showed him, sitting down and bleeding on the side of the road and confused. So one of the guys who happened to be there picked Asyraf up and tried to help him. I was like okay, so there is still some good people out there. But then I took everything I said, back. Another guy came up to Asyraf and began to sneak his hand into Asyraf's backpack. While he was going through the bag, the first guy who was so-called-helping joined the other guy looking inside Asyraf's bag.

The second guy took something out of the bag, (found out later that it was a PSP) and walked away like nothing happened. Then the fist guy did the same thing. He walked away, ignoring his first intention; helping the kid.

So, I almost teared up when I watched the rest of the video, showing Asyraf tried to stop them from taking his stuff but he was injured so he couldn't put up much of a fight. All he could do was watched them walk away. Then he just continued walking, bleeding and hoping someone would help him. But no one did. I could tell he was confused.

I felt him right at that moment. How could this have happened to him? The first guy, I know he was trying to help Asyraf. He looked like he really wanted to help him. But then, when he saw an opportunity, he gave in. That's what saddens me the most.

Anyhoo, Alhamdulillah, Asyraf is okay now and the police managed to capture the guy who stole Aysraf's PSP (I think). And you know what else that shocked me? The guy who stole the PSP, is a son of a billionaire!! What the fish! I mean, do you see what I meant by opportunity? What is a PSP to a billionaire lah kan? He could have bought himself one. But why did he stole it? (Kepuasan diri. Nak ambik kesempatan dkat org yg xberupaya. Kurang ajar namenyer.)

Ape2 pon, syukur bnyk2 Asyraf selamat mnjalani pmbedahan rahang kat Royal Hospital London. Owh, and ade pihak yg bsimpati dgn keadaan Asyraf dan bantu die. (Drg belikan PSP dan gantikan PSP die yg kne curik, support die blajar, and also help family die). Bguslah...ade gak org nk bantu.

So, think about it. Why do people do what they do? It's not about the hardships of life anymore. It's just for the fun of it. It's sad. Whatever happened to the so-called civilized people? It's just a name now. In fact, it always has been.

To watch the video and read the story click here.

Drama di Tempat Kerja

Salam all.

Lame aku xbermadah kat cni yer. Rindu kat korang...hahaha
Ade ke orang rindu aku? (jgn jawab).

So, by looking at the title for this particular entry, I'm sure you guys are wondering what kind of drama am I talking about yea? Nk cite la ni, ce sabaq...

Pagi2 aku dtg office, aku dok la luar sat, sbb ade mak cik cleaner nk cuci lantai. Ttibe ade la uncle chinese ni dtg. Aku kenal die sbb die ade dtg amek form semalam. Die ni sgt cerewet org nye. Nk kata scary pon ade gak. Anyhoo, even though die chinese, die da masuk Islam. So die saudara baru. Die ni mcm ade bnyk probs tau sbb dtg2 je die trus bkk citer masalah die kat ktrg sumer. Die kt brg die bnyk kne curi, kad entrance die la, duit die 20 inggit lah..kat dlm umah die plak tuh.

So, the problem is, masalah tu jd kat dlm umah die, what can we do? Btol x? Die kt ade pencuri, but then xde sape nmpak. Die pon xde nmpak. Mmg xle wat ape lah.

Die cite lagi, kad entrance die hilang, nnt kene buat baru byr lagi duit..bla bla bla lah...
Mula2 die cite kat akak jge kaunter tu. Ala, akak yg aku kt cantik tu Kak Rozie. Die pon dgar jer.. Die da xthn die blah..bole plak uncle tu ttibe cite kat aku plak. Aish.

Die cite dgn penuh kesungguhan yg teramat..amek kao. Aku pon xtau ape2 an, aku angguk jela. Just being polite. Smbil aku sengih2...ttibe akak Rozie pggil dr dlm. Aku pon masuk lah. uncle tu pon blah. Sorry uncle, bkn sy xnk dga, tp klu sy dga pon ape sy bole buat. I am just a temp.hehe..

Oklah, smpai ctu je. Aku pon continue ngan kje aku. Ttibe die dtg blek. Die tnye kak Rozie ape perkataan 'harimau' dlm bhs Arab? walaweh...aku pon terkesima lah. Ttibe je harimau apsal.
Akak Rozie and Boss pon terkesima gak. Aku dlm hati aku tau ape translation die, tp xckp la kuat2. hehe..

Pastu die bgtau sndiri, mula2 die explain pkataan tu dlm BM, BI, Tamil, Chinese, Hokkien..segala. Amek kao! Then die kt dlm bhs Arab, harimau is 'Namirun'. Mmg btol lah. Tp ape yg die nk ckp sbenanyer? Die kt org Islam pon xtau. IDe tnye imam kat masjid pon imam tu kt nnt die cr kamus. Pastu die kt pasal racist agama ape ntah.

Tp die mmg tegaskan td, die kt "I am a Chinese, and sy masuk Islam tp bkn masuk melayu. I am a Chinese. Korang agak2 ape maksud die ea? Aku pon xphm lor..

Ok, pastu die ilang blek. Ok la..kak Rozie and Boss dok ckp pasal die. Aku pon dga la. Bkn nk eavesdrop okay! xkn aku nk tutup telinga kan??? haha...

Ttibe! Jeng3! Die dtg blek. Kali ni pkataan baru plak 'sudu'! haha.. Die tnye ape makna sudu dlm Arab.Ktrg terkesima lagi...Again die explain dlm sume bhs tuh. then die bgtau dlm bhs Arab. Aku xigt la ape. Die mcm xpuas hati nape bile die tnye makna kat org Islam Melayu, sume xleh jwab. Uncle, ktrg blaja Islam bkn bhs Arab. Mmg la blajar bhs Arab tu pnting. Tp jgn la assume klu org Islam drg tau bhs Arab. Tp sy blaja yer..hehe. Terkial2 la gak.

Dah, itu je. Pastu diie da xdtg lagi dah. Hehe... Ok, cite lain plak, hari ni pergh, bz teramat la syg! Org anta form org amek form org salah bg form org xcukup form..huh! Mcm2!

Ade plak 2 org budak ni, dtg bg form, parents mane? :P duit yg kne byr pon xde. Dah la xnk senyum..sakit hati I tau.haha.. Ttibe budak2 tu ilang. Kak Rozie soh call tnye duit, aku call, Aunty tu cm marah, xde pon kt kne byar 30 inggit bla bla bla...ahh...aku pass kat akak Rozie..hehe jht kan aku? haha

Aku mmg stress ari ni. Seb bek ade 2 org budak kecik comel giler wat aku sng hati blik. Aku senyum kat budak srg tu die sengih..comel gile! Pastu die men pengsan2 kat atas lantai. Haha lawak tol...

Dah la, aku stop cni jer. Tangan aku da sejuk, aircond office ni pnye pasal. Ye aku kat office skang ni srg2...haha. Aku pon xtau la nape drg dok kt AC ni xsejuk. Gile la...onye la sejuk kat cni! Smpai drg bwk kipas stand tu bukak skali! Aku da naik beku doe!!

Pas kje ni, bru la aku tau, rupe2 bkn sng nk kje ni. Kene deal ngan mcm2 jenis org kat luar tuh. Patut la slalu org kje ni stress yer?

P/S: Isnin ni pkataan ape plak agaknyer?

Daaa!

Nightmare on This Street

Salam all.

Sorry, the title has nothing to do with the movie. It's just a title. I had a bad dream last night. It's been a while since I had one. I don't know why I had it (I think maybe I was too tired last night).

So, my dream went like this, I was kidnapped by a girl who's also a psycho. Yea, kidnapped! Along with 2 of my friends (I think there were 2). I don't know them. I just assume that both of them were my friend judging from the situation. And, I couldn't see what they all looked like, including my kidnapper.

All I remember was, we were in a dark house, and there she was, with a gun. So, aku bkak mata, aku nampak kawan2 aku tuh. Tp peliknye ktrg xkne ikat pon. That girl was screaming and yelling something to us tp aku xigt die ckp ape. Smpai satu tahap, aku marah, aku jerit balik kat psycho tuh.
Die pon ape lagi, marah jgak la. Die soh aku keluar ke halaman rumah.
Owh, lupe plak, tempat dlm mimpi aku tu sebiijk mcm rumah kat kampung aku.

Time dkat halaman tuh, die point the gun at me.
Aku plak, xtau la cmne bole ttibe ade handphone kat tgn aku.
(aku igt2 mcm aku ambik senyap2 dr die).
Handphone to aku igt jelas, mcm hphone aku dulu SE W910i.
Tp lain sbb kaler die hitam.

So time die tgh marah2 aku tu, aku nmpak mcm die nk tembak aku.
So aku telefon polis. Bru nk tekan 9, ttibe ade srg polis 20 kaki dr ktrg.
Sorang die jer. Bile aku nmpak die aku terus jerit, ppuan ni nk bunuh saya.
Then I have no idea why I started to run.
When I ran, the psycho shot me at the back.
I fell, and then polis tuh draw his gun plak and try to shoot the psycho.
Aku bangun nak lari, aku toleh blakang, polis tu kene tmbak, kepala die dah putus.
Walaweh, kepala putus? Aku rse psycho tu guna pistol jer.
Xpe lah mimpi pon kan.

Anyhoo, pastu aku nmpak kawan2 aku pon lari keluar, masuk dlm hutan.
Aku pon ikut sama lari. The psycho pon kejar ktrg.
Aku igt, aku nyorok blkg pokok..haha..
Tp siyes, I was absolutely terrified.
Takut sgt2. Time tgh nyorok ttibe bunyi handphone.
Rupe2nye alarm phone aku bbunyi. Ceh. Kacau mimpi aku plak.

Mase aku terbangun tu, nafas aku turun naik sbb takut.
Rugi xdpt tau ape jd.
Camne pon, mimpi aku ni mcm cite horror kan?
Kalu buat jd filem best nih..haha

P/s: Maybe mlm ni smbung blek kot mimpi. Ade ke? :P

1st Day At Work

Salam all.

No special story for today. Just want to share with you guys on my 1st day at work. I'm on a semester holiday right now so I'll be at home for 2 months. Since I don't have better things to do (than just sitting in front of this old lappy and rant), my mom hook me up with this work. It's just an easy job, checking papers and forms, that's all. And it's only for 2 weeks.

1st day saya mcm cuak jugak, yelah 1st time kerja. Saya xpernah keja lagi sbelum ni. Smpai2 je ade akak cantik kat dlm office tuh. So die bgtau ape saya nk kene buat, then saya pon terus buat. Keja die senang jer. Bagi borang kat penduduk tmpat saya tinggal ni. Saya kerja dkat office umah saya jer. Management pnye office.

1st time kje, saya mcm kekok, xtau ape nak kne explain. But then akak cantik tuh explain skit2 kat saya. Saya pon, bile org dtg nak ambik borang, saya kne explain cmne nk isi borang2 dkat org tuh plak. Xde susah mane pon.

Overall, 1st day nih boel tahan cuma boring jer. Yelah kalu xde org dtg nk amek borang, saya termenung jer lah kat ctu. Tp kan, akak cantik tuh garang. Die tegas btol, takut plak saya ni. Suara die kuat, nak compare ngan suara saya ni mcm langit ngan bumi...haha

Thanks to Allah, sumenye ok. Akak tuh pon, even tho die garang tp die baik dgn saya.hehe. Owh, td die bg punch card, aku pon tercari2 la mane punch machine tuh, rupenye kat post guard. Pg kat ctu ramai la abg2 guard. Segan plak saya (xle blah). Da la xreti nak guna punch card tuh. Saya pon tanpa segan silu tnya drg, camne ek, saya xreti lah. Drg pon tunjukkan. Baik btol abg tuh! hehe. 1st time punch card, best! Tp sy still xreti lagi la, cmne esok?

Anyhoo, esok 2nd day, hopefully better than today. Amin... Ok, smpai sini, nk pg tlg mama sy masak lauk bbuka nnt, selamat bbuka korang sumer! Jgn lupe bce doa.

P/s: Kucing sy Glow, nk masuk kuali panas, kang jadi goreng kucing kang!, jerit mama saya. Sy pon kat dpn jerit blek, "Kucing goreng la mama, haha." Mak saya tergelak ajer.

Toodles!~

A Message...

Salam all.

I'm still awake right now. Tomorrow, I mean today is the 1st day of Ramadhan. I can't believe it's finally here again. Alhamdulillah I'm still here and well to perform my fasting. I pray that this Ramadhan, I will be a lot better than days before and Allah s.w.t will bless me and my family. May our deeds during this month be accepted by Him. Amin....

This Ramadhan will be the 1st Ramadhan that I will be able to complete at home ever since I was in Yuaiea! Like2..hehe

To all my Muslim friends, Happy Fasting. Take care of yourself and drive slow.hehe.