Layang-layang

"Anak-anak ni mcm layang2, kita biar drg terbang bebas dan jangan halang drg. Tapi kita pegang tali tu. Kalau drg terbang jauh sikit kita tarik tali tu. Kita kena jaga, jangan bagi drg tersangkut kat pokok, kalau tersangkut nanti susah nak kene panjat pokok nak lepaskan. Kita pon kena pastikan drg x terbang jauh sangat, nanti tali tu putus. Kalau putus nanti drg hilang mcm mana?"

-Kata2 dari mak kawan saya-

Because I Care

Salam all.

I'm feeling very weird right now. It's kind of hard to explain. I feel sad and happy at the same time. Is that possible? I think it's cause I'm listening to this one sad song maybe.

Sometimes I hate myself for not being able to say what I want to say. Yes, the regret is very haunting. But it always happen again and again. Standing up for ourselves is hard, but standing up for others is harder.

There are times when you just can't understand how a person can hold on for so long. You just can't imagine being in their shoes. You wonder if you 're ever that strong. The urge to just tell them to stop, but it never came out.

Looking at that person, you wish that you could just hold them and stay beside them forever. Protect them. Love them. Not letting them get hurt by the cruelty of the world.

And when they break, you follow them. When they cry, you cry with them. The reason to care for someone so much, is unthinkable. But, even so...you're willing to do it, and you'll do it until you're not needed any more.

One's Own

Salam all.

It's been a while. I've missed this place so much. I got a lot to say but the mood just doesn't want to come out you know. Maybe it's cause I'm thinking of too many things at once. With lots of assignments that decided to come and visit and all. Life isn't easy. Of course, that goes without saying.

I guess everybody have their own abilities and ways to handle these stuffs. As for me, I'm lazy. I think that's a word best describe how I am right now.

Sometimes I think I whine a little too much. I'm always complaining about my so-called miserable life that when I look at other people's life, mine does not stand out so much. So why do I always feel like it isn't fair?

I have everything in life that I could possibly have and it is never enough. I can see, hear, and speak. But I'm always using them the wrong way, and sometimes not even using them. My mum told me an incident that occured in the LRT Putra this evening. There was this one teenager, probably about my younger brother's age; 17, he went in and sit next to my her. He automatically say Assalamualaikum to my mum and smiled at her.

She thought then, what a well-mannered boy, unlike some. Then she noticed something different about him. He wore this very thick glasses and he had to place his hand phone very closely to look at it. It seemed like he had this problem with his eyes and he couldn't see very well.

My mum was very touched and she felt sadness and amazement toward this boy. Did I mention that this boy was very good looking, fair skin and kind of like a cute guy (or so my mum described him to me). She said, you can't find boys like that easily today. She's right.

So be humble, even if you're high up in the sky. Be grateful and thankful for what you have and not whining for the things that you don't. Sometimes you think you're the only one having this big rock on your shoulder, but there are others. and their life is probably a lot harder than ours. A little food for thought.

P/S: Everybody has their own ability. Don't doubt yours.

A Day of Hanging Out

Salam all.

These are pictures that were taken last Saturday. We hanged out together to celebrate Kay's girl's birthday. She was adorable and mind you, very petite!

Her name is Mas.

And of course there's me.lol (kantoi Atie amek gambar)

And us too. Ouh, the cake looks very pretty on the outside

but not so much on the taste though.

Mirror, Mirror on the wall....who is the most gedik person here? Lol.

Yes, there is only one picture of them both. I know. Anyhoo, that's all!

My Quote

DON'T TELL PEOPLE TO STOP DOING THINGS THAT YOU YOURSELF DO, ALL THE TIME. LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND TAKE A GOOD LOOK OF YOURSELF FIRST. LIFE IS TOO SHORT FOR PEOPLE TO ONLY THINK ABOUT YOU.

The One That We Lose

Salam all.

Semalam hati rase cam sayu jer pas tgk citer Charlie St. Cloud. Aku ske cite die and sgt sedeh. Nangis gak aku sepanjang cite tuh. Citer tuh ade byk bende yang die ajar aku. Pasal perkara yg kt take for granted, pasal peluang kedua, pasal taking chances dan yg plg jelas, pasal kehilangan. Pastu cmne nak hadapi kehilangan seseorang tuh. Kehilangan tu pon jadi sebab salah die.

Entry ni ade kaitan la dgn entry aku yg sbelum ni. Quote tu aku dpt dr cite tu lah. Pasal taking chances. Kadang2 kt rasa mcm tu kan. Bila kt hilang ape2 msti kt rse kenapa aku still kat cni. Kenapa aku yg diberi peluang kedua. Tp sbenanye kalau nk ikutkan, kt sndri tau jawapannye.

Kalau aku, aku xtau la mcm ne nak deal bila kehilangan sapa2. Yang aku tau nangis jer.heh. Tapi kalau aku berada dlm situasi Charlie, mesti aku pon akan rase bersalah teramat sgt. Aku akan rse kenape aku yg selamat tp adik aku x. Pastu aku akan buat ape je utk happy kan hati sendiri even though bende tu mcm xmasuk akal.

Dalam cite ni, Charlie ndan adik die Sammy, excident. Charlie dpt hidup tp adik die x. Die rse bsalah sbb die adik die xde. Sblum excident, Charlie pernah janji ngan adik die utk ajar die main besbol dkt satu tmpat near cemetary setiap ptg. After excident, Charlie pg situ sbb teringat. Tapi die ternampak adik die kat ctu. Rupe2nye die bole nmpak roh adik die and roh org2 yg dah xde. So, tiap2 ptg, mesti Charlie akan pg situ and main besbol ngan adik die.

Aku rse jln cite die sgt sedih. Die rse bertanggungjawab atas ape yg jd kat adk die. Die tggl kan impian die nak masuk college sbb promise die dgn adik die. Aku rse die pnye pengorbanan tu sgt menyentuh hati lah.

Dlm hidup ni, mungkin kt akan and terpaksa buat ape yg kt xnk or kite rse nak buat tp sbb ade perkara lain yg menyekat. Mcm Charlie, die kne pilih, nak selamat kan orang yang nyata or terus jumpe adik die yang dah xde. Pilihan yg de buat mmg menyakitkan, tp itu la bg aku ianye strength. Die ambil peluang tu.

Kite xkn tau ape yg jadi esok or lusa or bila2 aje. Kdg2 tu tibe2 je kt bole hilang seseorang tu. Kalau kt bole hadapi, bgus lah, tapi kalau jd mcm Charlie? Xnak lepaskan memory tu mcm mne?

Sebab tu kalau kt syg kan sape2, make sure jgn sia2 kan mase selagi die ade. Perkara yang kecik2 tu sebenanye lagi penting.

Ape2 aje yg jadi msti ade sebab, dan ape2 yg kt buat mesti akan ade consequences and result. Jgn la rse kt ni xberbaloi utk dpt second chance. Tapi mestilah kt bole blajar drpd kesilapan tu.

Sam: I'm okay Charlie. I'd give anything for you to see me. What I've become, but no one ever gets to see what could have been.

Charlie: Sorry I had to break our deal.

Sam: It was time. It's beyond anything we ever imagined Charlie.

Charlie: I hurt as bad as the day you died.

Sam: You hurt because you're alive.

Charlie: We'll always be brothers.

Sam: Promise, everyday, come rain or shine, through Hell or high water?

Charlie: ...I promise.

(This movie was adapted from a novel - The Death and Life of Charlie St. Cloud by Ben Sherwood)

Lost-Cause

"Trust your heart if the seas catch fire, live by love though the stars walk backward."

― E.E. Cummings

Do you guys believe in second chances? Whether you did something you're not proud of, or whether you feel guilty about something bad that happened because of you. And when you've lost someone, you feel like you don't deserve another chance at life when he didn't. And you're just too afraid to look back at them. To remember them.

When everybody else is thinking that you've been given a second chance, you're thinking; why me? Why was I - of all people out there - is given a second chance? What makes me so special? Why do I have to live and why does he have to die?

To believe in something is some kind of a push for us. It gives a reason to live. But when you have lost that belief, you wish to hold on to whatever's left of your memories.

You're afraid to go out. Afraid to face the world and afraid to lose your memories. But the fact is, you don't want them to think you're forgetting them. You can feel them disappearing slowly. You've made a promise, you won't let go. You want to keep that promise. But you're disappearing too.

There's no such thing as a lost-cause. Whatever you do, will always mean something. No matter how small it is, and no matter how impossible it may seem. There must be a reason behind everything.

You just have to figure it out yourself.