Pelanduk 2 tak berapa nak serupa :P

Assalamualaikum brothers and sisters. Thank you for coming! Eyh?

Acah jer. Mukadimah hambar aku hari ni. Tet! T_T

Yosh! Lame gile aku tak update blog ni. Mostly sebab aku takder idea nak melabun pasal ape. heh. Ini pon entry aku macam nak taknak je buat. Tapi sbb aku kne gak update, so aku ikutkan jelah kata minda ni. Niways, apsal lah tajuk aku sebegitu rupa? Dan bukan ke patutnye pelanduk 2 serupa? Ngeh, cuba sabar sket tak boleh ke?! aku nk citer la ni! :p

So, korang mesti pernah jumpe sape2 yg muka sebijik macam org yang korang kenal kan? Haha, sakit otak x nak proses ayat tunggang-terbalik aku? tp korang pham ann. Muka serupa ngan org yg krg kenal. Tak pon kawan ko cakap ade org tu macam muka kau. Sorry aku tak reti la nak susun ayat. Haih!

Btw, aku tnye tu saje jer, yg nak citer ni cite aku lah. Heh. Aku banyak gak org cakap muka cam orang tu orang ni. Sebelum ni, ade 2 org cakap muka aku cam Najwa Latiff. Tak leh blah. Ade 2 org jgak ckp muka aku cam Kim Tae Hee. Plakon korea tuh. Buekk, yang ni bole la kot kita same2 muntah. Jadah nye la muka aku cam dorang. T_T

Dan baru2 ni, sedara-mara aku, iaitu makcik2 aku, (aku ade 4 org makcik) sume cakap muka aku sbijik cam Nelydia Senrose. What the bear! Takde org lain dah ke? hahaha. Seriously, aku dtg open house pakcik aku, aunties aku sume tkejut. "Ehhhhh retis datang le!!" Kuang asam. T_T

Dan sorang makcik aku ttibe dtg time aku tgh duduk, cakap nak amek gamba ngan retis jap...erkk, mak ngah...why??? So aritu aku cerita kat adik ppuan aku pasal tu. Sbb die tak dtg open house tu. Die boleh bantai gelak kat aku, lepas tu ttibe cakap, "adelah sket cam muka die." Lagi takle blah. Bukan nak backup aku. Cis! Aku igt muka aku ni dah cukup unik. Rupanya....

Ade la aku pnah nmpak muka yg lebih krg, dan dua2 aku knal. Haha. Owh, ckp pasal muka serupa ni, teringat satu kejadian aku baca kt youtube. This girl from north korea, was adopted bawak ke luar negara la. Then one day, someone wrote on her FB wall, tnye mane die lahir, bila, bla bla bla, pastu citer die lahir time ni kat sini. Pastu muka die sebijik mcm girl from north korea tu. She's from France. So turns out, drg rupenye adelah twins yg separated from kecik! Oh my, kecik betul dunia ni, drg boleh jumpa balik.

So, agak2 mungkin aku ade kembar kot kat luar tu? haha! tp nak kembar ngan Nelydia jgn berangan lah kau!

Same ke? lain kot.
Jom bluekkkkk bersama-sama!

I.A

The Hard Heart

Assalamualaikum everyone.

Another entry for this Raya month. Masa cepat betol berjalan, sedar tak sedar dah Raya. Tapi jgn misunderstood aku. Aku bukan nak citer pasal citer raya untuk entry ni. Aceli, time aku kt kampung, aku ade impian nak citer, tapi memandangkan aku ade short term memory, aku lupe sume bende best yg jadi time tu. Normal.

......................................

Okay berenti kjap sbb aku tgh pikir, ape tujuan entry ni sebenanye.

......................................

Aceli, seperti entry2 sebelum2 ni, aku akan meluah perasaan jugak utk entry ni. Pernah tak korang kenal sape2 yang mmg hati, or otak ke ape ke, keras macam titanium? Sebab pe aku tak tulis batu? Sbb dalam batu pun ade titanium..ape aku merepek.

Berbalik semula kepada citer original, hati keras. Manusia berhati keras. Orang mcm ni, mmg sangat menyakitkan hati. Serius kalau ko takde pendidikan agama yg kukuh, mmg boleh jadi gila. Aku ni nasib sbb aku bukan nak berlagak tapi aku boleh handle stress. Tapi se terer aku pon, sorang hamba Allah ni mmg boleh buat aku break.

Kadang2, kita igt, wah, kita tak pernah kenal org lain macam org tuh. Tapi sebenanye, ramai je manusia yg di 'built in' dgn attitude similar. SO freaking similar that you can't help but wonder if they are the same person, but were cursed to be separated from each other. 

Sebab ape aku tahu? sbb aku kenal some of them yg mmg otak serupa sgt. Tapi aku fokus pada sorg jer. Aku dah tak tahu macam ne nak handle budak srg ni. Serius dia sgt lain dan pelik. Nasihat yg org bagi, langsung tak amek pot. Buang camtu je dalam tong sampah. Dan die ni mcm ade split personalities. Dengan org lain bukan main baik, pijak semut tak mati. Dengan family sendiri, MasyaAllah. 

Orang cakap itu just a phase. Since he's only 19 dan ade krisis. Tapi dorang tak tahu ape2 boleh la ckp cmtu. 

blerh...aku penat. Die ni dah bnyak kali jadi character dalam entry2 aku. Harap2 cepat lah sedar, bertaubat. Takut nnt terlambat menyesal mmg tak guna la. May Allah be with me. Aamin..

I.A

My Birthday Story

Assalamualaikum makhluk-makhluk sekalian!

Sedar tak sedar dah masuk bulan puasa. Aceli dah lebih a week dah, aku je lambat baru nak citer. Lantaks! Lame aku xberkunjung ke blog ni. Berhabuk abeh sume. Aku fokus bnyk kat blog poetry aku aje. Bias disitu! Jangan salahkan aku, aku kan tanam anggur, bnyk masa dalam tgn, so disebabkan itu mmg hobi aku, jadi baiklah aku buat ajer kan.

Banyak lah bende yg jadi start dari last entry aku kat sini sampai lani...tapi satu hapa pon aku tak ingat. Jadinye aku xdapat lah citer sume. Tp satu citer ni aku akan igt smpai bebila.

29 hb Jun haritu, hari aku keluar...eh, hari aku lahir. Aku tak bape amek pot pon bab2 birthday ni, sbb nye mmg dari aku kecik smpai ke beso panjang lebar ni, tak pnah pon celebrate ke ape. So tgh aku busy layan wishes yang macam air terjun dekat fesbuk, ttibe bakal kakak ipar masuk bilik ckp abang aku gado ngan adik laki aku.

"Ira, abg ngan Shah gadoh camne ni?" katanya.
"Haihhhh" kataku sambil gerak nak pi tgk orang wrestling live! Bleh jd referee jap. heh.

Haa, based on reaksi aku tadi, korang jgn igt aku tak kesah lak abg ngan adik aku nak berperang. Tapi sbb drg ni mmg jenis yang ske berkelahi. Aku dah 'cook'.lol

...........................

(aku berenti type kjap sbb tibe2 aku dga org menjerit dalam kesamaran lagu yg aku tgh dgar, rupenye abg aku tgh menyanyi lagu kuat2. Cissss!)

...........................

Sambung balik, aku pi jenguk la abg ngan adik aku tuh. Memang sungguh drg tgh wrestling! haha. Apehal aku gelak plak ni? Eh, aku pon cuak ahh tapi berjaya maintain cool lagi. Dah bertumbuk2 tuh, tak bole jadi, aku tarik tgn abg aku soh die besabo. Cuak jgak kang aku pulak kene tumbuk.hehe..

Tgh drg bertinju tu, adik ppuan aku Nana masuk bilik smbil bawak pinggan kat tangan. Dalamnye berisi sesuatu berwarna putih. Macam bedak, tapi aku pasti bukan dadah...eyh?!

Now, part ni, kalau org yang laju dan pandai akan terus pikir 

"Woi, kau nak baling tepung kat aku ehhhh!!! Drg ni nak prank aku!"

Tapi dengan dukacitanya dimaklumkan, aku bukanlah seorang yang laju dan...eh aku pandai, tapi slow jer.hehe. jadiknye aku pikir:

"Ehh, Nana nak masak cucor la...." T_T

Aku tak tipu, mmg kepala otak aku pikir macam tuh.......hehe... Ni sume sbb Nana suka grg cucor!

Tapi sejurus kemudian, bende putih dalam pinggan -yg waktu ini kita sume tahu adalah tepung - itu dilempar kepada aku dengan rakusnya oleh mereka sume. Turut serta adalah The Rock & Stone Cold Steve Austin. ----abg ngan adik aku...kuajar. Dan bakal kakak ipar pon turut serta. Mangkukkk.

Dorang baling mmg siyes macam ade hidden grudge somewhere yang aku tak tau kt aku! Baling suka hati riang ria hari raya jer. Cisss! Aku smpai terduduk la. Then drg nyanyi lagu Happy Birthday kat aku. So kurang sket la geram aku. Hehe.. Aku still xleh caye aku kene prank dgn The Rock ngan Stone Cold. Dan lagi tak caye aku bole pcaye dgn lakonan drg tu..

Satu badan aku penuh tepung. Aku ape lagi, baling gak la kat dorang... Dah macam antu rupe aku.haha.

So, takat tu aje prank nyer. Tapi bday wish nye tak abes lagi. Next day, malamnye, kitorang sume pg karok. Dah masuk dlm bilik tuh, mama still xstart nyanyi. Aku soh la nyanyi cpt, die soh tguu The Rock yg dah ilang ntah kemane. Bile The rock masuk je bilik, drg sume nyanyi lagu Happy Birthday lagi skali!

Apehal la drg ni, tahu la sayang aku lebih tapi I malu you...hahaha....xle bla.

The thing is, aku tak kisah pon kalau no celebration or whatsoever. At least people remember me. Dan aku suka kalau org wish and sertakan doa skali. Terima kasih ye korang2!! Semoga Allah membalas kebaikan kamu sume! Aaminn!

The last person on earth aku expect utk wish birthday aku adalah, si pembuli. Atau nama sebenar Kaer. Tibe2 die whatsapp ehhh. Pastu melalut-lalut la dgn pembulian die. Aku seperti biasa terima sume. Tp thanks anyway lah Kaer!

Owh, besties aku pulak, Atie and Ima, al-kisahnye macam pakat je wish bday aku 30 hb. hahaha... Dua2 pakat lupe bday aku ehhh! hehehe...tp xpe, it's the thought that counts! Oh and Atie, u did give me the very super early birthday present kann. So, thank you! hahahaha....

Dan kepada besties lain jugak, Anum, Yatie, Adek, Iyka...thank you korang punye wish!! Love you all so the very much! Okay. itu aje utk hari ini. Dah nak azan. Selamat berbuka ya!!!

p/s: muka kene baling tepung. Baju hitam jadi putih!

I.A

Orange

Taken yesterday evening. Such a beautiful scene. MashaAllah. Upon laying my eyes on it, I saw deep in my crazy, weird, awesome imagination of mine, a huge bird flying across the orange sky. Such a rare sight don't you think? U can see a lot if u look closely and deeply into the world up there. :)

Stupidity

Sometimes you want to believe that someone's changed. Keep telling yourself a lie and hope it'll be true.You actually believed it. You held on to it for so long. And then something bad happened and it destroyed everything. Then you start to wonder, how much longer can you put on the charade... And how long will it take to get that piece of hope into your heart again this time. Humans are very fascinating. No matter how much you're hurt, you can't seem to have enough. Your smile can be your mask, but your heart is dying little by little. And yet, you're not willing to do anything to save it. Not even wanting to take one sip of breath. Willing to die. And then you start to wonder again, how can you be so stupid? so insane? so confused? When the obvious answer lies right under you nose. I guess maybe that's why you can't see it. But none of it matters, because no matter how many times you're hit in the head, the pain has already become a part of you. Then it will all fall back into the same pattern, again and again. Voilà! it's a one big perfect circle... so, lesson's learned? I don't think so.

This is a one mystery that can never be solved.

A Great Life!

Assalamualaikum beautiful creatures of Allah :)

How is everyone? As for me, all I can say is Alhamdulillah, I am very fine. Allah has blessed me with good health ever since I was a child. No major allergies, no low immune system nor terminal disease. Yes people, if you feel blessed with something, say Alhamdulillah. It'll only take a second. Literally. And you will get a reward too, kill 2 birds with one stone!

Yeah, a little bit off topic. What is the topic anyway? I'm kinda..lost.....

Oh yeah, so I'm going to change into the other persona again; the philosopher! Not Harry Potter's Philosopher's stone alright. I feel like I'm wasting half of my time babbling and whining about my so-called miserable life. I mean, my life isn't miserable. Just 'cause one or two things (in my case it's a lot of things) in my life didn't go as I wanted it to, doesn't mean I get to judge.

A little whining and babbling doesn't hurt, but when it gets a little too much, then you got to ask yourself, "what am I doing wrong?!" We're humans. We're flawed. We make mistakes. Bla bla bla.

I can't say I'm going to stop complaining after this particular entry, but at least I'm reflecting. That's what they call it in counseling. It's when you reflect back on your actions and mistakes. No Missy, you are NOT perfect! You should try it once in a while. :)

You know what's hard in life? Knowing you couldn't be what Allah asks you to be. Not because you couldn't get any boyfriend or girlfriend, or if your parents fight every night or got divorced or whatever. We live to please Allah.

Take my mum for example, she is one of the most strongest person I have ever known in my entire life. She is a living proof of a Wonder Woman. She's been fighting her entire life. And she is still fighting without a man to help her. I can never understand what she's been through, being a single mother that she is.

I feel so bad because I don't feel like I'm doing enough to help her. I want to help her. But she won't say anything to us. And that makes me sad. Not knowing what's in my mother's heart. She is right there, within my reach. And yet I can't do anything to catch her. She's not perfect. She whines, she complains, but those are just words to ease her pain. I can understand at least that.

Ok I'm starting to cry. This is what I hate about being a philosopher. So much emotions.

I never told anyone my story - except to a few people close to me. I don't want to be sympathized. But I want people to learn from it. And grow with it. Maybe someday.

I guess that's why I am scared of saying I have a miserable life. Afraid that if I whine too much, Allah might take it away; my lovely family, my dear friends, and unknown strangers. Because, I see that behind every bad things in our lives, lies that one part that is good and amazing. You just have to look deeper. :)

And last of all, I'm not a strong person. I cry, I've shed tears, I cuddle up like a little baby whenever I feel hurt. I just don't do it in front of other people. I don't want them to see me in my fragile state. So I put on a happy face (most of the time I am truly, genuinely happy) and I want them to take a little strength from that happiness for themselves. Even just a little. :)

If you can't find even a single thing to be grateful for, just be grateful you exist. :)

I.A

Memories

What happened to us? All those years just disappear. I miss the old days when we can just say anything, do anything and be anything we want without all those silly dramas, without any emotional breach and sensitivity, without so much as feeling offended by what each other did or said, without anyone telling us this and that... All we had was each other. We were so strong, so happy and so ridiculous - in a great way. Though the ridiculousness remains, the rests are no where to be seen. And it'd forced me to ask, what happened to us?

P/s: feeling sad all of a sudden. Gosh, I miss everyone :(