I Hope the Dream Lasts Forever

I'm living in a dream...a good kind of dream.

A dream that you know is real.

Never once I thought I would be here. 

But here I am. Just like how He had planned.

Lots of feelings. Happy, scared, unsure, sure, crazy, ridiculous, amazed...

Mostly I'm scared. Scared that I might not be able to do everything.
Scared that I could be paralysed.

But we are not meant to be perfect.

I hope the dream lasts forever.
As long as you're here with me.

I.A

Kids and other Beautiful Disasters

Assalamualaikum lovers!

Yosh! Here I am once again. So yeah, I've completed Gelap Part 4 a few days ago after a two months hiatus. Ahaks!

Nampaknya aku mmg sgt busy sebab klu tak kerana cerita tu, aku takkan tulis benda2 lain seperti yang aku selalu buat masa bnyk masa dulu. Dulu, setiap hari, or at least once every one week mesti akan ada post. Takpun setiap sebulan. Things change laa...hehe

Tapi aku still disini. Writing and writing until my hand hurts. Besides, that's the only thing I know how to do. Enough about that.

Oh, so nak cerita pasal time aku jadi babysitter dearest cousins. Pergh...satu benda je aku nak cakap, jaga anak ni mmg sgt mencabar both kepada minda dan fisikal. Tengok makcik aku jelah, sangat kuat macam superwoman! Dengan anak2nya yang tersangatlah nakal. Sampai aku pun yang cinta dan kasih pada kanak-kanak pun rasa nak gila. haha...

Satu pengajaran bagi aku, nak jadi mak adalah sgt besar tanggungjawabnya. Jadi isteri lagilah pulak. Will I ever be a good mother? hurm..hehe. Anyhoo, ada lah beberapa kisah kelakar time aku kat sana. Aceli banyak tapi memori aku ni ada masalah sket. TT

Ada one time tu, kazen aku dok smbang pasal apa ntah, tapi ttibe muncul nama Rozita Che Wan. Haha. So aku pun saja tanyalah kazen aku umur 6 tahun, Raiqa, cantik sgt ke dia tu? dia kata cantik!! macam Barbie. hurm...so aku procede dengan tanya dia:

"Ika, siapa lagi cantik, kak Ira ke Rozita Che Wan?" 

Ye, aku mmg suka tanya soklan camni.haha. Jawapan dia takleh blah.

"Um...mestilah kak ira."

Patutnya mmg aku rasa terharu kan, tapi apa makna hesitation awal2 tu? ><" so aku cakaplah:

"Ala, Ika just nak sedapkan hati kak Ira je kan."

So, expectation yang dia akan cakap ialah: "Taklah, betul kak Ira lagi cantik."

Tapi sayangnya, realitinya dia cakap: "Yela, mestilah kena sedapkan hati Kak Ira, kita kan keluarga."

Sampai hati kau nak. Haha...walaupun sekali imbas mcm aww sweetnye, tapi mcm ada makna tersurat. haha...but it's kind of sweet la jgk.haha.

Ada lagi one time, aku bersiap-siap nak keluar, lepas habis siap, dia senyum dengan sangat manis dan jerit kat aku:

"Kak Ira! Kak Ira nampak macam Barbie la!!" Yang ni aku tau dia ikhlas. hahaa. Suka beno dia dengan Barbie.

Raiqa ni mulut dia mcam mak nenek. Mmg asyik bercakap je. Dia cuma diam bila dah tidur. Tapi itupun mesti mengigau. ><" But now I miss her rants.

Salah satu rant dia, aku tanya pasal spiderman. Dia tetibe cakap:

"Kak Ira tau tak spiderman tu tipu je, yang benda dia kluakan tu cuma tali, lepas tu drg sapu dengan gam uhu nak bagi lekat-lekat."

Buahahaha! aku gelak gila2 time tu sbb tak expect lgsung dia nak ckp camtu. Dengan konfiden lak tu, sampai aku pun hampir percaya. haha. So aku procede tanya pasal Thor. Dia jawab.

"Thor tu pulak dia punya tukul tu dibuat daripada kotak je, kalau terbang2 tu orang yang baling kat dia."

Hahaha...aduh...aku tanya pulak pasal Hulk.

"Hulk tu kan Kak Ira, sebelum pergi depan kamera, orang cat-cat badan dia dengan kaler hijau." 

Huahua...mmg time tu aku gelak sampai senak perut. Me dear Raiqa. Sangat lawak. haha.. I miss her a lot!!

Anyhoo, mcm2 lagi la kejadian lawak, klu aku senarai, sampai bila tak habis. So dahlah. That's all for now!

I.A.

Hey!

bukan aku la tapi. aku tak addicted. aku terpaksa. hehe... TT

Assalamualaikum beautiful creatures!

Oh my...lama sungguh tak bukak blog ni. Entry pon ntah kemana skang. Al-maklum lah, 2 bulan ni aku agak busy jd babysitter. Dan kerja pun berlambak. So kena la prioritise. Dan lgpun, bila jadi babysitter ni, klu nak menulis tu agak payah, sebab bdk2 tu kejap nak tu nak ni. Okay, aku bkn nak citer pasal perihal aku jadi babysitter. haha..salah topic plak.

Anyhoo, aku sorry sgt2, sbb blom dpt buat Gelap Part 4. Tak sempat nak menulis lg. Yelah, sebabnya sudah aku terangkan di atas.

Tp sekarang aku dah balik umah, so privacy tu dah kembali. Jadi, kalau tak ada aral, dan diizinkan Allah, nnt aku sambung Part 4 ye kawan2. Hum, lama sgt dah tinggal cerita tu, aku dah tak igt kisahnya hahaha.. kidding. hehe.

Btw, sebenarnya aku tak sgka gak ada org baca cerita merepek aku tu...haha. That's why aku take time suka hati jiwa raga aku je nk wat bebila. hehe..maaf again!

So, yeah, nnt aku sambung. Tapi not this week or next week, sebab kerja aku masih ada. So tgh busy lg. Don't worry, aku akan sambung yea anak-anak sekalian. hehe..

Orite. Signing off.

I.A.

Stranger

Assalamualaikum.

Hi strangers. It is already March. Rasanya baru je semalam aku lihat Januari. To be exact, I've only seen 2012 yesterday. A bit exaggerated but it's the truth nonetheless. Betul lah masa ni berlalu makin cepat bila kita tak pandang. Tapi bila kita pandang, rasa lambat. Kan?

Tak terlambat agaknya nak bicara pasal azam. Azam baru aku? Sama je macam tahun-tahun yang lepas. Tapi masih tak tercapai lagi. Jadi bawak ke depan dan ke depan dan ke depan. Sampai bila pun aku tak tahu.

And me? Well, 2013 had made me a different person. Well, to be honest, each years, I change into a different one. Those who say people never change are wrong. Look at yourself, I mean really look. You'll see what I mean. But of course, you will either change into one of only two things; good, or bad. But under those two things, there are lots of other things.

Aku ada terbaca re-tweet seseorang kat timeline aku, she said, "why are strangers kinder than people I've known for a long time." They're in my own words, since I'm not really good at remembering things I didn't pay close attention to. But close.

Back to the point, so, aku teringin nak reply tweet dia. Tapi aku tak kenal dia, so it would've been awkward. Tapi, aku jawab kat sinilah, bagi aku sebenarnya, kalau tengok closely ayat dia (in this case ayat aku tuh) korang akan nampak jawapannya, terang-terang dia bagi sendiri.

Amazing, the answer lies amidst the question.

Pada korang-korang yang minat philosophy, or just happen to love using your brain to think about the world, mesti korang akan tahu apa maksud aku. To those who don't, I suggest you think far away.... from the box.

To me, the fact that she thinks strangers are nicer (dari orang yang dia DAH kenal lama) is precisely the point. Maksudnya, perangai manusia akan keluar sikit demi sedikit makin lama kita kenal rapat dengan orang tu. Masa stranger, memang lah nampak kebaikan. Not saying that all strangers are bad or fake or whatever. I'm just saying, that maybe they're kinder because you don't know them. See what I mean?

If you feel somewhat offended by what I just said, please don't. I know that there are people out there who are genuinely good regardless of how long you've known them. But will they stay the same? That, I'm not quite sure. And that, is my point.

Well, that's pretty much all I have to say.

I.A

A Little Wonder

It has been a while since I wrote my last entry. Well, it's already 2014. Nothing much happened during these few months. Then again, interesting things rarely happen to me now that I am no longer a passionate student of an academic institution. Regardless...

25. Yes, the number 25. It's coming. This year. In a few months. Though I believe and hold it close in my heart that age is just a word, nevertheless, the word haunts me still.

I could still remember clear as day, the other times when my head had thought about the same thing. But different in way. 20, 21, 23...and so forth.

Some great people have done unimaginably, remarkable great things. And I? I've done nothing worth mentioning to anyone in the world. Nothing at all. And that scares me a lot. When I am finally chosen to leave this now scary little big world, what will people remember about me?

Have I given a great impact to anyone? Anyone?

Will people keep mentioning my name and all the good things I have done when I am no longer amongst the living? I fear. I fear that everything I have done and am doing would not be enough in the eyes of my Maker.

But as long as I still have my breath, I will strive to make myself worthy. InsyaAllah.

I Need a New Heart

Dear Someone,

I need a new heart. Who wants to trade? Anyone?
Make sure your heart is not fragile. 

'Cause I'm going to take it to a very dangerous place.
A place where, once enter, we will never be the same person any more. 

A place that will completely change you, and alter your perception. 

Maybe even your reality. 

A place that is invisible to some people's eyes..
And a place that is chosen to be ignored by the others.
Why do I need a new heart? because a heart like mine can't make the journey. 

I can try, but I'll perish on the way. It is not strong enough.
It's cracked. It's burned. Almost broken. It's useless.

It might not be a fair trade. But if you think you're better off having a broken heart, then take it. 

And give me yours.

I'm tired of being empty. Maybe you'd like to feel something else for a change?
I know. This all sound like a huge risk.; if you ever decide to trade that is.
But if you fear all that I have said, then I guess I have to offer you another deal.
I keep my heart. And you keep yours. 

But I am truly desperate for a strong one. 

Therefore, would you be so kind as to accompany me on my journey?
You would only have to watch over me. Protect me. Hold me. 

Whenever my dying heart fails.
And you would have to tell me stories. 

Stories of your glory. Your strength. So that I can borrow it.
So that I can bury it in my heart, and make it strong like yours. 

I promise, that is all you would have to do.
If you ever decide to keep me company that is. 

Think about it. And let me know. Until then, best of life, I wish for you.

Sincerely, 

I.A.

Shorts

Assalamualaikum ya pretties, ya handsomes!

Short story for today.

Tadi aku tgh play ngan kucing aku, aku terdengar satu hilaian, eh nyanyian. Oh, abang aku melalak dalam toilet. Lantak la, macam tak penah buat. Haha! Mula2 pelahan je, tak lame pastu makin menjadi2 pulak.

"Abang aku buat konsert pulak dalam toilet tu."

Bicara aku dalam hati. Then, masa aku tengah sidai kain...eh, aku ni asyik sidai kain je ek? Haha, bkn salah aku kejadian berlaku time aku tgh sidai kain. Moving on, tgh sidai tu, abang aku keluar toilet. Still tgh melalak. Lagu indon. Tak pasti lagu ape. Aku pun wat je la keje aku, then abang aku terkejut.

"Laa...kau ade kat luar rupenye. Tekejut aku. Ingatkan dalam bilik. Terbongkar rahsia aku. Rahsia suara aku."

Amende la abang aku ni..rahsia suara kejadah! macam aku tak pnah denga kau nyanyi.haha. Aku hanya diam sambil tersengih jugak la...dan sambil sidai kain.. TT haha...

"Malu aku dengan kau Ra....yelah suara aku dah la tak sedap. Sedap tak suara aku?"

Bengong..haha..kan dah kene. Dok loyar buruk pulak abang aku ni. Aku jawab...

"Kau nak kene tumbuk tak?"

Gila adik yang jahat aku ni. Cakap camtu kat abang.haha. Ahh..ape die kisah. Itu normal. Haha. Sebab pas aku cakap tu, die terus gelak kuat giler...haha

"Jahat kau. Ini yang aku dapat."

Haha...see..korang jgn igt aku ni kurang ajar pulak. Well, memang patut pun korang pikir cmtu.hehe. Tapi, aceli, kitorang ni beza setaun jer. Rapat giler. Mmg dari kecik gitu. So bende2 small matter ni, nak sentap tak payah. Kene bahan lagi ade. hahaha...Kbai.

mase kecik2, org igt kitorang kembar. Dah besar ni, orang igt abng aku tu bf aku. 

Bahaha! Masa berlalu begitu pantas!

I.A