“Don't do what you want. Do what you don't want. Do what you're trained not to want. Do the things that scare you the most.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
Sometimes there will be a point in our lives that we feel comfortable choosing what's familiar. What we know, what we understand, what we can fathom without much need of a reason. Or even justifications. It's just how I do things. And yet, decisions made, based on those conditions rarely give us satisfaction. And most importantly, solace. We don't feel happy. We don't feel victorious.
One of the reason being you know deep down in your indecisive heart, that this is not what you want. That if you have more control over your mind, you would choose what you want. That if things weren't so damn complicated, you'd be fine, and that things would be much easier if your decisions will not ripple like a pebble in the water.
You know you'd be left with a dilemma. You'd be forced to make the right decision when the most confusing thing is, even when you
have made up your mind, there is just no way of knowing whether it
is the right one. The whole thing about present, past and future are just so messed up. What you do today, will affect the future. But we can't see the future. You want to take a chance, yet you're scared if all the bad things you predicted would happen. So you choose not to do it. Irony.
We're afraid. Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do because you feel it in your heart that this is right. Sometimes you do the things you want, because that's just how it's always been. Because you don't know what will happen if you decided otherwise. And you'll be the one ended up getting hurt. Then others will try to fix you. And you will try to fix yourself. But how can you fix the things you can't see?
I.A.